For next year...

60 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30

1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack.
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
10. Skip.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Wait in line to purchase a book or to watch a movie (unless its for or with his kids).
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates, or even have roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater" or add “–ster” to the end of anyone’s name.
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Follow any MTV reality show religiously.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
60. Stop playing video games. It's not cute, it doesn't count as a skill, and we don't believe it when you say it improves your hand-eye coordination.

December

Looking forward to the nostalgia of old familiar palces and friends. I will get to show my wife the narrow streets of Killarney and Tralee decorated with lights and where every step of the way is covered in Christmas music. Old stores I used to frequent as a kid in Holland and its vast and excellent transit system, the peeing statute in Brussels and my grandmother's belgian hospitality. 1st time I'll be with my parents for Christmas in 11 years. It's a great close to a good year, a year full of small adventures and big graces.