FRIEND ROCK
(An Essay by Sufjan Stevens)

I remember Hard Rock, Punk Rock, Emo Rock, Alternative Rock, Classic Rock. I remember going to see Lee Renaldo and Thurston Moore make a lot of noise with a gaggle of guitars and a few props at CBGBs (Experimental Rock). I remember seeing a show in someone’s basement and there was a great deal of pushing and shoving (Mosh Rock). I remember the Moody Blues playing with a string ensemble (Symphonic Rock). I remember a band from Chicago that played jigs and reels (Celtic Rock). I remember seeing Deerhoof play at Luxx and after one very complicated song someone whispered, “Math Rock.” I remember Petra (Christian Rock). I remember seeing one of my songs categorized on iTunes as “Folk Rock.” I remember, recently, playing a whole tour in formal, seated theaters and thinking “Soft Rock.”

There are a lot more terms flying around today: New Rock, Ironic Rock, Situational Rock. But have you heard about Friend Rock? It’s very simple: you are going to a show not so much as a fan of the music, but as a fan of your friend, the musician, on stage. There are various incarnations, of course: you may know the singer, the drummer, or the bass player; you may have dated the keyboardist years ago; you went to high school with the trumpet player; one of them is your housemate, your office mate, your soul mate; or it may be “friendly-professional.” Perhaps you’re booked by the same agent, share the same lawyer, the same label, the same shoe sponsorship; there are various scenarios: your cubicle mate at work starts a band; you want to support her; your dentist is a celebrated tuba player; he gives you free tickets to his show; your brother divorces his wife, leaves the kids, starts a band, is coming through town, playing at Maxwell’s, can you make it to the show? Friend Rock stirs up all kinds of moral conundrums. Do you go out and show your support or stay home and watch The Simpsons? Even worse is Friend of Friend Rock. A close relative is Colleague Rock. Family Rock is usually the worst (unless you are Danielson). For the sake of argument, I lump them all together.

Friend Rock is a nebulous genre, often difficult to define. How does one isolate the variables? The first step to recovery is recognition; self-inquiry is key. Consider carefully your motivations for being at the show in the first place. Are you bringing to the performance an anxious, pathological obligation (by sheer, relational proximity) and an unfaltering, unquenchable desire to chatter, gossip, and talk about said friend onstage, capsizing your ability to enjoy anything about the music at all? If so, you may be in the midst of Friend Rock. But there you are, biting your tongue, with an iron will, the will to love, a stoic cheerleader, a loyal comrade, a cheap listener, you are sticking it out because that person onstage is your Friend.